Honestly Hannah

This has been, by far, the biggest haitus EVER. It’s been weird not blogging. Weird, and stress-free, and maybe a bit lonely. The truth is, I have been so caught up in life. There have been things I haven’t wanted to tackle in a blog, and so I’ve said nothing.

Homeschooling keeps us busy. It’s fun and amazing and totally time-consuming. It fulfills a need in me for sure. When I am planning lessons, putting up calendars with pumpkin numbers, it takes me back to my teaching days and all the days I played “school” as a little girl. Our homeschooling support groups are fabulous and full of wonderful friends. It’s good for all of us.

My faith has been a rollar coaster ride this last year. I certainly haven’t lost it, if that’s what it sounds like. Last fall, I began delving into the Hebraic roots and learned a lot about “the church” I didn’t like. We ended up leaving the Methodist church because of their support for Palesting and blasphemous words against Israel. We began worshipping in a Hebraic way with a Messianic congregation where we learned thatr Christmas is wrong and the world is ending, but also a lot of amazing things. But something didn’t feel right. James and I struggled and prayed for months over where to go and what to do, until last week when we left the Hebraic roots church and went back to our beloved Methodist church, full of people who love and support Israel. We had a big meeting with our pastor and told him that our tithes were to go to this actual church and not to the insane, liberal board. And now I feel peace. So was I supposed to leave the Methodist church in the first place? I don’t know. It seems to be that our time away served a purpose. I have seen God work in ways I never imagined. There’s nothing quite so powerful as seeing the Lord move.

While I find much joy in my husband and children, I have also been sad over the last several months. I still miss my grandma terribly. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of calling her. I am also thankful though for such an amazing person in my life. We lost our dog last week– the dog we got when I was in high school, and that seemed to re-open some wounds. Funny how much you can miss a dog. It’s the part of pet ownership I have always dreaded. It’s awful. And unlike losing my grandma, I do not have peace in knowing we will be rejoined in Heaven. I honestly don’t know how I feel about that. I know the bible refers to the lion laying down with the lamb, and animals not preying on one another, and I know Jesus is to return on a horse . . . so who knows really? I just wish I knew.

I have thought about “coming back” to my blog for a while, but the longer it got, the more I had no idea what to say. I have missed all of you though. So many of you I know primarily through blogging. So I wanted to come back.

I have tons of new recipes to share, and I am going to be a maitron of honor next weekend.

How is everyone? What have I missed?

I think I’ve discovered a new hobby.   I’m thinking of opening an etsy store maybe.  What do you think?

What is is with me and gray skies?  I’d take a cornflower blue sky over a sunny one any time, except maybe at the beach.  Nothing compares to the color, and my sensitive eyes are enjoying the lack of sun, too. 

Just a little something put together for my mama from our garden: hydrangeas, asparagus fern and lemon grass reeds.  Love my little garden!

Yep, life got in the way again.  I always have such big plans for blogging, but then life gets in the way.  Since I started using the internet on my phone and my Gal_axy tab, I’m not on my laptop as much lately.   I saw a great organized update on GFF’s blog, so I’m going to copy it. 

Family

We celebrated Olivia’s 5th birthday with family on her actual birthday last Monday, and she had a party with family and friends last Sunday afternoon. 

I can’t believe my baby is 5.  I just can’t believe it.  Every time she has a birthday, she instantly looks bigger to me, and this birthday was no exception.  I looked at her last night and she danced around my parents’ house doing cartwheels and twirls and I couldn’t believe how big she seemed.

She had a Cabbage Patch party.  Luckily, I was able to pick up all the decor at Cabbage Patch Babyland in February.  She loved her cake!

Look at the details on the baby’s feet.  I love our local bakery!

We rented a moon bounce and it was a big hit!  They brought us the wrong one (sports), but Olivia didn’t care.  Besides, it was new (clean!) and very strong, so the parents could jump too, and some did!

We had in until lunch time the next day and the kids and I jumped in the morning again before heading to our Amazing Mondays homeschooling group, where we again celebrated Olivia’s birthday with another little boy who also turned 5 yesterday.  I’ve known I wanted to homeschool for a while, but there were always little things I wondered about and didn’t want my kids to miss out on, but I’ve found that is absolutely not the case.  Far from it.  We ran around crazy Sunday night finishing a project for Olivia to present and then I baked cupcakes to take to the group.  I can’t emphasize enough how awesome groups like this are.  I really love having time to hang out with my friends (Tricia and Sheri!!)  I also love that Olivia knows and interacts with kids of different ages.  In real life, we work with people of all ages.

Faith

This is perhaps the area of my life with the most significance these days.  God has opened my eyes in the last 6 months or so.  We’ve begun learning about and celebrating the God’s Appointed times (Biblical Holidays) as a family.  I’ve also gotten involved with a few amazing bible studies: my women’s one that meets every month or so on Friday nights.  It’s great girl time and I love it!  The first time we complained about our husbands a lot.  The second time, we decided to only talk about positive things in our marriage.  I was a bit disappointed, but after spending two hours thinking about all the good things in my marriage and talking about how I met my husband, I went home feeling a renewed love for him!  The other bible study is on Tuesday nights and it’s at a Messianic church.  We’re still attending our Methodist church though.  We’ve been attending a Messianic temple on Saturdays and our Methodist church on Sundays.  This is a big thing for us because we’re very involved in our own church.  I am in charge of the children’s ministry at our church and James is the technology coordinator.  We aren’t sure where God wants us, so we’re two timing our church and celebrating the biblical holidays with the Messianic church.   You can read about the feasts here.  Interesting stuff! 

For example, the fact we celebrate Easter is quite strange and has nothing to do with anything Judeo-Christian.  Jesus was crucified on Passover.  He was the Passover lamb, fulfilling the prophecy of the spring feast.  He also fulfilled all the other spring feasts, perfectly.  The Last Supper was Jesus’ Passover Seder with his disciples, where we mentions again celebrating Passover with us when He returns.  It would seem to me that if Jesus celebrated the feasts, and is going to celebrate them with us when he returns, that we are supposed to keep them in his absence.  Some believe that post-Jesus, we as Christians don’t have to celebrate the Biblical Feasts.  But at the time when many believe the Feasts ceased to be celebrated, Jesus’ disciples were still celebrated them.  The early Christians celebrated them too, up until Constantine abolished them.  Many also think of them as Jewish feasts.  They aren’t.  No where in the bible does it say Jewish feasts.  They are GOD’s feasts, and the bible says to keep them.  Interesting stuff, huh?   I organized a church Easter egg hunt yesterday and we’re going to dye eggs, but I’ve been thinking about all this a lot.  Easter comes from Ishtar, who was hatched from an egg laid by the God Tammuz.  It’s hard to grasp that we wouldn’t celebrate Jesus’ sacrifice and resurrection at its rightful time: Passover.  So we will be celebrated that too.  We’re preparing for our first seder on Tuesday night with my bible study group.  Pictures to come, for sure!

Friends

I have been blessed with so many new and rekindled friendships over the last year.  I remember moving here and feeling so lonely.  I also remember making friends here and then being the first to have a baby and feeling lonely again.  Living in a military town, friends come and go a lot here, but in the last year, I have such amazing group of girls to hang out with, and they have great kids.  There are many weeks we have more playdate offers than days of the week.  I am so blessed.  Last week, for example, my friend L and I took a road trip to a 4H meeting for homeschooled kids.  We got lost and giggled on the phone as I followed her around the boonies.  When we did finally find it, we were the only women wearing pants and who had hair shorter than butt length.  There were kids who looked like they hadn’t bathed in ages.  As L whispered during the meeting, causing me to burst out laughing, many of them probably didn’t have running water.  haha.  We just felt a bit akward there, my with my pierced nose and L with her big hoop earrings.  Needless to say, they were so welcoming.  We nust felt a little out of place, and it was too far to drive.  We didn’t realize just how far away their meeting place was.

Homeschooling

Homeschooling  is going great!   I have so much fun with it!  We’re going on a big archeological dig on Wednesday, assuming I feel ok since I’m have a cyst removed from my neck on Tueday.  Ouch!  Anyway, the dig should be fun.  We’re excited!   We also have a bunch of fun Passover/Easter projects and lessons planned for the week.  We’ve been kind of unschooling this year, but next year will be more structured I think.  I love how I have so many amazing friends here who are homeschooling and my friends who aren’t are so supportive and encouraging. 

Travel

I have had such a travel bug lately, but we can’t afford to go anywhere by air, so we’re driving to Canada this July!  Woo-hoooooo!  We’re taking the kids to Niagara Falls and maybe to Montreal (undecided about it).  The kids passports and our renewed passports should be here soon.  Olivia is so excited to get a passport.  James helped her make one for her doll, too.  She’s determined to have the border patrol stamp it.  I hope he will.  They can be pretty serious folks!

Persoanl

Liam weaned a few weeks ago.  It’s been hard for me because I don’t know that we’ll have anymore.  We went more than 2.5 years, which is awesome, but it’s been sad for me.  I am so thankful though that we made it that far and that he chose his own time to wean.  I’ll admit, since weaning him, I find myself really wanting another baby!   Is it really so hard to go from 2 to 3?  We have a minivan.  We have 4 bedrooms.  We have clothes for both genders.  But I haven’t lost the weight I wanted and it’s another child to pay for.  hmmmm….  thoughts??

Other Stuff

–James is taking me to see Yanni next week.  Are you laughing?  I think can hear you laughing!!  What’s wrong with Yanni?  He’s awesome.  He plays my “cooking dinner” music!   We are so excited to have a BIG night out.  My mom is staying here and putting the kids to bed.  We should be home by 1:00 am.  I haven’t been out that late since last sunner when A and I went to a bar in her minivan.  hahaha. 

Food!!  Can’t forget food.  I love healthy food.  I am trying harder to “eat the rainbow”!

Asian slaw salad

baked black bean empanadas

Vegan carrot raisin muffins

Off to eat dinner.  Have lots of activities to plan for this week of Passover/Easter, too!

It definitely looks like spring around here.  My van is yellow.  If that’s not a good indicator . . .   it’s time to enjoy being outside more before the horrible, oppressive heat sets in.  And it won’t be long.  

I have been gardening plans this weekend (and gardening burns calories!!!) and some spring cleaning.  Really, it’s not spring cleaning, but regular old cleaning.  Bathtubs and toilets need to be clean, regardless of season!

We got some fun homeschooling stuff in this week, but we’ve been hit by the sickies, so much of my big plans didn’t happen.  Liam has had a fever for days and is finally getting better.  Olivia had a shorter version, and I have some sort of freak rash.  It started on my legs and looked like razor burn, and then it started to spread over the weekend.  And it itched!  I went into one of those after acute care places yesterday where 2 docs examined me and determined I was having a major allergic reaction to some unknown thing.  Wish I knew what it is . . .   They gave me a nice steroid shot in the rear and sent me on my way with 2 oral meds and a cream.  It’s a little better, but not as much as I’d like.  I haven’t tried any new products except for a face cream last week that I didn’t like and I’ve been using raw honey in my tea.  I got it to help combat allergies and to lessen my sugar intake (I don’t use much sugar, but I’d like to eliminate it mostly).  Anyway, maybe it’s the raw honey since it has pollen in it?  Who knows.  I’m still itchy and I hate it.

Back the homeschooling stuff.  We did some fun St. Patty’s day stuff!

I love our themed calendars each month.  I’m happy I get to still do them like I did when I was a public school teacher, cuz I’m still a teacher now, just in a different way!

This was one of my favorite things we did this week.  I found the idea at one of my favorite sites: Christian preschool printables

We also learned the trinity song that goes to the tune of “Are you sleeping”"  (God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirite, 3 in 1 . . .)  So cute to hear my kids singing it!

We didn’t get to all our Purim stuff because of sickness, but I plan to do it this week.  We did make Hamantashen cookies though.

They are supposed to look like the evil Haman’s hat.  Haman wanted to kill all the Jews and was saved by the Jewish Queen Esther, who was married to an Arab king.  I grew up never knowing the Purim story and it’s one of the biblical holidays we are learning about and celebrating as a family.  Interesting stuff!

The pollen this year is not my friend, but it hasn’t kept us indoors.  We walked down to the lake near our house the other day to get out of our feverish house. 

I found this photo take the day after my grandma passed away.  I’m glad to see I looked happy on my 30th birthday, depsite my sadness and the age in which I was turning.  I am getting used to 30, I really am.  Though I find myself almost apologizing for my age.  Someone asked me how old I was the other day, and I found myself saying, “yeah, I’m thirty.  Can you believe it?”  I’m so sorry you have to be friends with someone who’s 30.  How totally uncool!  The funny thing is, most of my friends are between 30-33.  I’m the baby!  

Anyway, here’s the pic of me on the 30th!  I’m holding a “doll” Olivia decorated for me as my present.  She also made me a puzzle.  I’m such a lucky mom!

Gaw.  One boob is bigger than Olivia’s head! haha.

I love that shirt she’s wearing, but winter is gone, so it’s about time to pack away the winter stuff.  Does anyone else get sad packing away your kids’ clothes for the season?  I always think of special occasions we had for various outfits.  I wonder if I’ll ever use the clothes again (jury is still out), and I think about how the next time I pack away their clothes, they’ll be a size larger.  It’s touch being a mom.

Anyway, I am ready to take on spring.  Like I said, I have big gardening plans.  One of my closest friends is going to be my gardening buddy this year.  Hi Sheri!!!  (waving my hand furiously!)  BTW, Sheri could use some major prayer warriors right now.  She’s dealing with cancer again, but she’s working hard at kicking some cancer ass!  She really is fabulous and tough and I respect her so much.  Her daughter is Olivia’s best friend. 

Because I’m planning on being out in the sun, I need to new (unscratched) sunglasses and Sheri and I agree we needs big gardening hats!  You won’t find me in clogs though.  I gotta draw the line somewhere.

I like this one:

And I could wear it to the pool.  I don’t know that we’ll be ocean side this year because it’s looking like we’ll be taking a roadtrip across the border to Canada!  woo-hoo!

I need some fabulous sandals too.  Any ideas?

I’m sure I’ve used this title before, but I’m at a loss as to what to call all my random posts!

I’m sitting here with a glass of red wine waiting on my baked spaghetti to come out of the oven.  I have absolutely no idea if “baked spaghetti” is a real recipe or not, but a friend who used to live here made it and I stole her idea.  I use corkscrew noodles, marinara, a dash of heavy cream, a handful of low-fat mozzarella, herbs, salt, and veggies (this time I had mushrooms, green peppers, and broccoli).  I also added in some halved meatballs and I’m baking it for 45 minutes or so.  It’s really good.  You should totally try it!
After dinner, I’m escaping sans kiddos to go to a bible study.  It’s one I’ve been wanting to go to for a while.  We attend a Methodist church, and while I love it and believe it’s where I’m supposed to be right now, I wouldn’t necessarily say I identify with being a Methodist.  I doubt any one denomination is going to comeplete coincide with whatever a person thinks, at least I’d hope not.  It’s good to think for yourself, right?  Anyway, the church that has the bible study tonight is actually a Messianic temple where gentiles and Jews are welcome, and we’ll be talking about Ezekiel and the prophecies.  Interesting stuff!

I’ve been trying to be good about reading my bible every day to meet my goal of reading the whole bible this year.  It’s been harder than I thought, especially because I like to read other stuff, too.  Reading about Moses and all the Jews wandering in the dessert has kind of been dragging on and on (no offense, God).  I’m also in the middle of Bel Canto.  I just finished 90 Minutes in Heaven and before that I was reading a coffee shop mystery and Forget You Had a Daughter about a woman arrested in Thailand for smuggling.  I love to read.  I have some other good stuff on my list for this year including: Prayer for Owen Meaney, The Poisonwood Bible, The Forgotten Garden, The Help . . .

I really love my Galaxy tab because it has both the No_ok and the Kind_le, but I find myself still gravitating towards the real books.  Any thoughts on this???  Will I get used to reading electronic stuff.  It feels a bit akward.  Any other must-reads I should add to my list?

I posted this questions on FB and got some good answers, but I figured I’d ask here as well.  I really want a new look, but I’m too chicken to cut my hair.  It’s actually at a shorter length than usual.  It has a ton of wave, which makes layers very bouncy and obvious.  I flat iron my hair sometimes, but usually only for special occasions.  The consensus on FB seemed to be to cut longer bangs and/or layers, but I was still considering bangs maybe.

Ok, don’t laugh, but I really love the 2nd wife’s bangs on Sister Wives.  She’s in the back left corner:

Here’s my hair for comparison:

Now if I could loose 30 pounds by summer! Anyway, I’d love any hair suggestions.  Right now I have long layers.

Also, James and I are leaving the kids with my mom and going on a date in April and we won’t be home until after 1:00 am!  We’ve never done this before.  Don’t laugh, but we’re going to see Yanni.  I love him.  Does that make me a complete dork?

Dinner is done!

Tonight I felt a bit like a teenager again . . .

I made dinner, cleaned it up, and remembered I had a mountain of laundry waiting for me.  Instead of folding it on the couch as I usually would, I had a brilliant idea.  What if– just what IF– I could sneak off to my room, put on some really great music, and ponder life?  So that’s what I did.  I think I ended up with a good 45 minutes of uninterrupted think time while the kids watched a movie .  Score!

And I felt like an adolescent again, because much of my pre-teen/teen years were spent alone in my room, listening to music, reading travel books, contemplating life, dreaming of my husband, and planning trips I’d someday take.  I still have travel books my parents bought me for Christmas as  a kid.  I still love reading the inscriptions they wrote about how someday I’d see the world.  Aaahhhh, the dreams of the young. 

Tonight reminded me that I am an overly sensitive person.  I’m not sure how much anyone who knows me well knows how much I really feel.  I’ve gotten good at hiding it, because truly, I’d be an emotional mess all the time.  I must have a high concentration of hormones or something.  I feel things so deeply.  I have always been sensitive and passionate.  Sometimes it’s annoying.  I cry when the clouds look pretty, or when I see the Taj Mahal in a movie. I get moved very easily.  So does my mom.  My grandma did, too.  Likewise, I’ve seen Olivia cry because in her words: she loves her brother so much she gets happy tears.  I guess it’s generational!

Anyway, tonight I folded clothes on my bed and thought about life, and ended up crying for my grandma.  I’ve been doing so well, until it hit me a few days ago that I’ll never really talk to her again in this life.  When she first died, things were so busy.  Family was here, we had a service to plan, a home to clean out.  Then we went out of town.  I’ve been so busy.  But now, as the time since I last talked to her gets longer, I am feeling the giant hole left in my life without our nightly talks.  Usually, I talked to her while I folded clothes.  It was my routine.  After dinner, before baths, I’d call her and chat.  Or I’d call her after the kids went to bed and fold laundry in the living room.  Tonight, I wanted to call her so badly I couldn’t stand it.   I hate this.  I’ve been so blessed to have had such a stable, safe existence up until now, and losing someone I love for the first time has really opened my eyes to what life can be like.  I’m lucky it took me so long so see it.

I’m also struggling with grief for a dear friend, who is dealing with another round of chemo.  I worry that I don’t have the right words for her.  I struggle with wanting to do more, without knowing what.  I can’t do the one things she needs: make it go away.  Ugh.  Why does life have to be so freaking hard sometimes?  I know there are beautiful parts, too.  But seriously, sometimes it all sucks.

After I cried and decided enough was enough, I started watching travel videos on You Tube.  I know I’ve got a lot of stuff going on inside– some of it feels like the crazy hormone issues I had after having Liam, but really I think it’s more circumstantial this time.  My heart is hurting over my grandma and my friend and I’m dealing with the reality that life isn’t fair and that that’s just how it is.  And I’m worried about other crap.  I have that feeling– the feeling of wanting to escape.  I planned our African safari during the first few months of teaching, when I was struggling with being a new teacher and figuring out how to handle really rough kids.  I was a sheltered kid (and I’m glad for it), but some of my students threw me for a loop.  So I planned a trip.  And it brightened my whole world.  The next year was better.  Then I had my precious Olivia.  And I’ve barely traveled since.   But I didn’t go to many places before becoming a mere mommy and housewife.  But I do love my life.

I was hoping to go on a cruise this summer, but we don’t have the money, so it’s looking more and more like we may drive to Canada.  It’s the same distance as PA was, so we can totally do it.  And hotels are not very expensive. I’m already looking forward to renewing my passport, which just expired.  I remember as a kid, I wanted my parents to buy a Honda Passport SUV because it made me think of traveling the world.  hehe.

So, this was an odd post.  I just read it over, and if I were you, I’d think I was weird.   That’s ok though.  What’s a blog for if not to write whatever pops into your head?

And please tell me I’m not the only emotional nut?

Man oh man.  That pesky travel bug has hit me hard. 

There are few things I love more than traveling. 

 (God, my family, uh . . . that’s about it . . .)

I miss traveling to crazy places like Korea.  The kingdom of Swaziland (it’s just not as cool if you just say Swaziland, is it?)  Amsterdam.  Rome.  Paris.  Cancun.  Montreal.  South Africa!!!  I’ve been blessed.

The problem is, I don’t have a lotta money.  And I’ve got kids.  Two of them. So, what’s a girl to do?

I’m sure the most rational thing would be to wait.  WAIT, Hannah.  I’m young (30!  Eeek!)  Yes, I’ll have time later.  These are things I tell myself.  But it doesn’t work.  I want to go somewhere that satisfies my soul.

So, I need your thoughts.

We’re talking about driving to Canada this summer maybe because it’s really no further than Pennsylvania was.  I’d love to take the kids to Niagara.  Another option– a cruise, if I can find one with cheap kid fares and a port I can drive to.  Ugh.  Our budget it small, which leaves very few options. 

What to do, what to do . . .

Don’t you hate it when you’ve been awway from your blog for a week or so (or longer) and you just aren’t quite sure how to dive back in?

Yeah, I hate that.

I’ve been dealing with my grief.  I’ve also been healing.  There’s been lots of healing.  I still have many moments of longing for my grandma, and I know I will for a long time.  I have thought about calling her dozens of times, and then I remember.  But I know she isn’t gone.  So many people say, “I lost my mom” or “I lost my husband”.  That terminology just doesn’t work for me.  My grandma isn’t lost.  I know where she is.  I just can’t see her right now. 

I just finished reading “90 Minutes in Heaven” and it really made me feel better.  Have you read it? I read Don Piper’s description of heaven over and over again because it sounded so wonderful.  Now on to the 34 books on my “to read” list for 2011, plus the 20 or so others I have on my shelf and saved on my library list.  Still working on reading the bible, too.  There are so many things I didn’t know, and I’ve been in church my whole life.

Speaking of church, we visited a Biblical museum on one of James’s bereavement days.  I’d been wanting to go for a while.  I would like to dedicate an entire post to this, but remember when I said I felt God had laid something on my heart?  Well, we’ve decided to celebrate the Biblical holidays, which many Jews celebrate.  But they aren’t Jewish, they are Biblical.  It’s just that most modern day Christians celebrate only the holidays with pagan roots, because those were the ones adopted by Constantine.  He did away with the true Bibical holidays.  I’m not saying it’s not ok to celebrate Christmas and Easter.  We still plan to, we are just going to celebrate the biblical holidays also.  So, with that said, I was fascinated by the museum.  The gift shop alone was amazing.  There were so many amazing products from Israel.

The kids had the best time exploring.  We needed this. 

In the last week and half, there’s been lots of good family time.  Being with family is healing.  It’s when I’m the last one awake at night that the sadness creeps in.  I need to see my children’s joyful faces and feel my husband’s strong arms around me.  These things make me happy.  Those are the things Dah would want for me.

Family time on the playground makes me happy. 

My boy makes me happy.

and my lovely Olivia . . .

We decided to get away this past weekend, so we went with my parents to the alpine village of Helen, GA in the mountains.

The highlight of the trip for Olivia was visiting the Babyland Hospital where Cabbage Patch’s are born.  Her joy could hardly be contained!

I love this picture I took as we pulled up. (My mom is next to Olivia)

What an awesome place.  It’s not the same location I went to as a kid.

Olivia adopted a doll that had recently been born (hehe) and got to name her.  Coincidentally, she named her Olivia Beth.  The nurse told us it’s amazing how many dolls are named after their mamas!  Olivia had to sign the adoption certificate and she printed her name more neatly and carefully than I’ve ever seen!  She wanted a dark skinned doll.

The highlight for Liam was visiting a train museum and scoring a couple new trains for his Thomas set!

I wish I’d photographed some of the food we enjoyed. Yummy German food! mmmmmmm . . .

Life is getting back to normal.  In a way, that’s good, but also, I’ve enjoyed the extra efforts we’ve made for family time.  This Saturday is out first official family movie night.  We’re going to watch “The Ugly Dachshund” and eat popcorn and drink lemonade (those were the treats the kids picked.)

Next time, I want to share a video with you of Olivia dancing at my grandma’s service.  She asked if she could as a tribute to Dah and it might’ve been the most precious thing I’ve seen, ever.